It is extremely rare for your emigration to not have some major challenges or obstacles to overcome. What makes some people able to overcome any issue, whilst others just cannot get there? Is it the fact they have more money, better skills, the right qualifications, luck? No, it is their attitude when approaching each challenge, and the determination to succeed no matter what.
During our emigration there were a lot of challenges, some anticipated most weren’t, some our own making and some we had no control over. To give you an example, I had decided we needed an immigration consultant to help us because our extended family situation was a little complicated, and our points were border line. Over a few weeks, I contacted 53 immigration consultants and they all refused to represent us, as we did not have enough points.
I started thinking if all these experts are saying we don’t stand a chance, what could I do about it? It’s just not going to happen. But then, “who am I trusting our future to, because a few people who don’t even know me think I’m not good enough to be accepted? What do I have influence over, what can I change and do differently?’
So I kept submitting, changing the details, focusing on different work experience, and qualifications. It was determination and knowing I had options that gave me the motivation to keep filling out those long online forms, and at last an immigration lawyer said he would represent us! My point here is rather than just accepting, I looked at what I was in control of, made changes and kept going.
Have you ever had something bad happen then thought “why me? That’s just typical I can never achieve this.” When you are in that frame of mind, you are implying that it’s not your fault something just always happens, there’s nothing you can do. It is not empowering or taking responsibility for the situation, when you are not responsible you don’t have to do anything about it. You are giving yourself a convenient excuse for doing nothing.
When you are in negative mind set and focusing on what is not right, then that is all you see. You are not able to generate new ideas, be creative in your thinking or stimulate yourself to come up with solutions. You just see what you can’t do, not the new potential.
So change your perception of the situation, examine the facts, and ask yourself a new set of questions:
- What I am grateful for right now?
- What do you have influence over?
- What could you change?
- What have I learned from this I can use next time?
- What is good about this happening?
Change what you are thinking, and shock yourself out of the unproductive mind set. Take something useful away from it. Don’t follow the same old patterns; acknowledge you can make a difference, if you want to. That is always the determining factor for success, look at any entrepreneur, successful migrant; they keep going, shrug off the unsuccessful attempts and find another way.
It’s no coincidence that of the most successful entrepreneurs, 90% of them started with nothing, they were not born into money. They did not have the resources at the outset but always had the right attitude and determination. Instead of “impossible” and “can’t” they see possibilities and what ifs.
So many people will tell you how lucky you are to have the opportunity to move to a new country, make a new start, to have such an exciting life. Luck? There’s no such thing, you are creating those opportunities by defining what you want and finding a way to achieve it - NO MATTER WHAT.
So if you catch yourself, drifting into thinking its not fair, we want this so much, we are never going to get there… Remember it’s up to you to change that unproductive thought right now. It’s your life, and only you can make the difference to what happens to it.
